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Wednesday, October 27, 2010

Have a party in your pants...Invite everyone

Have you ever prayed to get your Period? Margaret has. And it’s not like she went out with the girls, and got lambasted on Lemon Drops either. She didn’t even wake up next to a dude named Antonio and she didn’t discover she had “oops sex”.

Margaret just wants to start her fucking period. She can’t wait for the “big day”. So she prays, and God the jerk, answers her prayer finally, and gives her “the curse”. Fast forward 51 years and God is probably still laughing his ass off at Margaret…and the rest of us who were blessed with a uterus.


Now its 2010- and as I mentioned in an earlier blog, Tampax has come up with a new marketing plan with bright neon tampons pads and liners. I’m sure that a man designed this campaign for his fellow men, so that there would be an OBVIOUS warning to get THE FUCK OUT OF OUR WAY-yes it’s that time of the month guys!


Proof that a woman did not do this: The website says: “I was terrified that my tampon would fall out of my purse when I took my wallet out”. A woman would NOT make this 'glow in the dark' product, for this reason alone! A woman would have them wrapped in old receipts, loose dollars and camouflage. Imagine if our armed forces took on these new tampon colors…The Middle East would look like my street after our annual water balloon fight was over.


In Australia, its worse…the actual pads are decorated “For the ultimate care down there” (Swear. I am not making this shit up). Pick the one that fits your mood…I’ll have the one where the snake is eating the baby, thank you.



One more thing, the aftermath of your period will look like you cleaned up after a festive party that ended with a CSI investigation.



Since you probably have some left over, I have come up with some clever designs to disguise your unused portion of product.


This picture is because I hate the 49er's-no other reason.


This is a "MAXI" pad! More like a a Maxi comforter.

my inspiration :)
Who hasn't felt like this?

Ants in your pants, my ass





12 PC Animal Finger PuppetsAre You There God? It's Me, Margaret (Turtleback School & Library Binding Edition)

8 comments:

  1. I'm glad I don't have to deal with this crap.

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  2. Did you have fun doing this or WHAT!!!!
    Did Brent help you?
    This is EPIC!!!!

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  3. brent did the zombie....but the tampon designs were all me LOL

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  4. Has anyone ever tried dipping a tampon in fruit juice and sucking it?

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  5. nnaaaa gorilla bananas...that sound gross

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  6. Thank you so much for your support!

    ReplyDelete
  7. Too bad ppl dont embrace the woman when she's having her cosmic cycle- she is at her highest sensitivity of consciousness and empathy when she's menstruating. The period is a beautiful tool & a woman experiences it for a reason. She is most intuitive while on her period- nothing to be embarrassed about & if it weren't for the woman's period, none of us would be here. :)

    ReplyDelete