"Under certain circumstances, profanity provides a relief denied even to prayer." - Mark Twain

I hope I didn’t frighten any one away because of my language, because we are going to have a blast here on my Blog.
5 followers already! I’m going Viral! I only said that because whenever I say “viral” it pisses the hell out of my pretentious college student, Joey. “Eww Don’t ever say that again that again Mom, you don’t even know what viral means!” Viral Viral Viral! Take that Joe.
We have so much to cover, so I am going to give you a little preview of what we will be talking about here.
We will go over my first year of Funemployment which included lots of laughter with the sisters and family which included drinking vodka around a bonfire with the family and Ace the goat. We stalked Blake Shelton because he is from Ada OK like us. We (I) became Biggest Loser stalkers because my cousin Darci’s husband Danny, was a contestant and won the Biggest Loser! Also my move from Orange County to Folsom in February without a job lined up.

Then there is Facebook. My best friend with all my best friends on it! I will be featuring some of my fabulous unique friends on here (some that defriended me or vice versa). My fellow Howard Stern Slack Packers and my friends from A Heartbreaking Choice will also be covered as well as my friends from high school that I have found.

I may even delve into my childhood, and share with you how my brother fed me play dough crackers and tried to drown me in the blow up pool. Then there was that time when I was in 4th grade that I got my hand stuck in a tampon machine in the Sears bathroom. Another time, my niece and I got into a fight camping at Butterfield Country and gave each other bald spots from pulling hair. This was over a guppy. Before you say anything-Martie, my niece is only 2 weeks younger than me and about a hundred times more athletic and stronger. She could beat the shit out of me.

Overall, I am really a happy person and I knew I made the right move to Folsom when I was recovering from Hernia Surgery and I was surrounded by my family- laughing like we always do when we are together- and my brother in law “John the Father” said “don’t laugh so hard you might break your stitches” and then my sister Barb said “and then you’d blow around the room backwards”. I was Home.

Now all I need to do is find a job that pays a white man’s wage. God.